Saturday 22 November 2008

Loneliness and the long distance writer

Interesting discussion yesterday whilst having a real blast, writing a few flashes, swapping some work, and talking poetry with an old writing colleague.

Talking about support structures, I said I had to learn to stand on my own two feet, trust my own feedback, not rely on others, in groups.

He said the opposite. That even the best known writers had support structures, creative sounding boards, mentors.

Food for thought.

3 comments:

Sarah Hilary said...

Interesting post, thanks Vanessa. I think there's merit in both sides of what was said. I've had good and bad experiences of each opposition and would say there's no real substitute for a writer's own confidence in what he/she is doing. I developed a severe case of myopia when it came to my writing because I had too many people telling me what was good/bad about it. I lost all sense of what I was trying to do, and why. But recently I was lucky enough to find a writing buddy who gives me all the goodness of a mentor, editor and enthusiast without me losing that focus that comes with self-reliance. I think one of the reasons we're working together so well is because we're both at a similar stage with our writing and our confidence. We have that bedrock in place and can take criticism from a peer without feeling unnerved. But I do hear what you're saying. In the past I've swung from near-arrogance to utter defeat and self-loathing all based on feedback from other people. It's a really hard process to manage. I think you were right to retreat from too much external input at a time when you needed to absolutely batten down your own focus and goals. Also you are a great giver, very generous with your time, and that can be a slippery slope for a writer. Sometimes we need to be selfish with our time, just to get things done. Also, note that your writing is now being used to educate and enthuse novices. What better gift is there than that? But you won't be able to keep giving it if you don't devote sufficient time to yourself, your voices, your stories. Sorry if this sounds patronising or lecturing. I don't mean it that way.

Vanessa Gebbie said...

It doesn't sound either, Sarah. It was an interesting conversation, and I wanted to share it, to make people think.

Sometimes, for the novel, for example, I know that I dont want to share work with people who may not give me straight feedback, for whatever reason. On the other hand I have been happy to share it with those who will reflect unbiased, non agenda-driven comment. (I do NOT include the recent University debacle which was entirely agenda-driven, as far as I can see, and absolutely nothing to do with an open wish to support a creative endeavour.

You sound as though you have found the perfect solution for your own growth. Long may it last!

Douglas Bruton said...

Yes... I get this.... the loneliness and the not knowing if this piece is good or as good as it can be... and am always too close to my work to really see its flaws sometimes...

But if it does well out there, fairly consistently, then it must mean something, I think...

But then if you hit a bad month, where the hits run dry, then you can't help thinking that it's not as good as you thought or hoped...

This confidence thing is a messy business.

Good if you can find someone you can trust to give you feedback you know holds water...

But the writing thing is so subjective so much of the time...

I don't know what any of this means, except that having someone to share your work with, not a 'luvvy' but someone with a good eye and a sharp mind, and who is a help... worth weight in gold.

D